The Art of the Dress

[Mayfield, there is a sad pony hanging out on the front porch of 836 Hastings Boulevard. Like so many others, Rarity had the dream the previous night, and agreed to the bargain to save her friends and the home she'd always hoped to return to someday. It pains her that she had to learn about the damage her existence would cause to Ponyville from her dear younger sister Sweetie Belle of all ponies, but it turns out this would be for the best. So what's there for a slowly fading pony to do but to write out her last will and testament? Passersby will find Rarity sitting sadly on the porch, a long piece of paper unfurled in front of her and a quill pen levitating beside her as she begins to write. She's narrating it all out loud for dramatic effect, of course.]

I, Rarity, being of sound mind and body, do hereby render this document as my last will and testament, herein and hereby revoking and making void any and all wills heretofore made by me.

Item 1: As the state of my soul has previously been provided for by one human town by the name of Mayfield, I shall not require a remembrance service to be held in my honor, nor any manner of elaborate memorial to be constructed in my name.

Item 2: To my dear, sweet sister Sweetie Belle, I hereby bequeath the Carousel Boutique, my home and studio, to use in whatever fashion she sees fit.

Item 3: To my friend Twilight Sparkle, I leave my collection of finished dresses. As Princess Celestia's apprentice and frequent visitor to Canterlot, she is in most dire need.

Item 4: To my friend Fluttershy, I leave my lovable pet cat Opalescence, as I know she will take excellent care of her. I also leave to Fluttershy my entire stock of fabric and my sewing machine; may she use it to create the French couture fashions she has always desired.

Item 5: To my friend Pinkie Pie, I leave my collection of porcelain dishes, napkins, silverware, and tablecloths. I am certain they will serve her well at future parties.

Item 6: To my friend Applejack, I leave my makeup. May she some day discover its use.

Item 7: To my friend Rainbow Dash, I leave my tea set, in the hopes that it will inject a bit of culture and sophistication into her daily life.

Item 8: To Spike - my biggest fan - I leave...

[Rarity pauses here for a moment to swallow a lump in her throat. A small whimper escapes her mouth before she continues on.]

...my entire collection of rare gemstones. I trust he will find them [uncomfortable squeak] delicious.

Item 9: And finally, to Princess Celestia, I leave the Element of Generosity, as I have proven myself unworthy to wield it.

The undersigned has declared the content of this document to be fully accurate and legally binding for all purposes relating to the death thereof.

[And finally, repeating her own name as she does so, Rarity signs her name at the bottom of the form in swirly script letters.]

Well... I suppose now there's only one thing left to do.

[Rarity's horn glows briefly as she flops dramatically forward. Out of nowhere (or rather, from somewhere conveniently 'off-camera'), a pony-sized chaise lounge slides in to catch her. She lands on it and drapes a hoof across her face as the tears flow down from her eyes.]

And now, a fond farewell!! Farewell to you, friends! Farewell to you, family! May you live long and fruitful lives in my place! I only hope that my sacrifice has in some small way ensured your happiness.

[And now she's just going to wallow in her misery and roll around and cry like the dramatic little thing she is.]

[What bad timing. Rarity finally just came out of her self-imposed seclusion yesterday, only to be shoved into one of those gross-looking pods and replaced with a vindictive clone of herself. And pod!Rarity wastes no time at all in getting on the phones to screw with the rest of the town. Her voice is no less cheerful than usual, but it's just slightly haughtier than usual, like she's looking down on everyone else.]

Well, I'd say it's about time to get down to business again. Carousel Boutique is open for commissions! My schedule is completely clear, and it belongs to all of you! And not a moment too soon, if I do say so myself. After all, I've seen the dreadful excuse for fashion you've all been wearing around town recently. Honestly, I don't know how some of you can stand to look in the mirror in the morning, let alone set foot outside your house!

...Actually, I suppose I applaud your bravery in that regard; I could never even dream of being seen in public looking like that. But worry not, citizens of Mayfield! Your Rarity is here for you. I view it as my greatest challenge as a designer to make you all look presentable. You get stylish new clothing, and I don't have to cringe as I walk down the street anymore! See? Everypony wins. Isn't that generous of me?